#NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek

If you know us or follow me on social media you’ve seen we welcomed our beautiful blue eyed son into our family at the end of February. The post introducing him is coming but for now this sweet boy is soaking up all our cuddles. While my arms are thanking Jesus for the weight they are holding in the form our our perfect boy my heart can’t help but be consumed with both fullness and brokenness for the week that has just past. Infertility Awareness Week. It’s a week I’ve been apart of for what feels like a long forever. Some years have held more loss and tears, pain and growth, than others but every year has been full of grace and Jesus. Every year God has given me light in the darkness, steadiness in the uncertainty, hope in healing, and promise in tomorrow.

In February of this year, years after our journey began, tomorrow finally came. The most precious 6lbs 15oz my arms have ever held took his first breath.

I’ve never wanted to make infertility my identity although it’s been trying to define me throughout adulthood. I didn’t want it to be apart of my story but I trusted the day would someday come that would make the journey worth it. Every time it tried to break me I whispered to Jesus “help me hold on” because I believe His goodness far exceeds the darkest of my days. The moment my eyes saw Hayden I knew this was it. This was the sweetest reason for the hardest of times. I believed this baby was coming because HE is always on my side.

“… for you do not understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” John 13:7

I hold this verse close to me because it literally gives me life. In the moments I wasn’t sure if the pain in my heart would allow me to breath air, this verse gave me another breath. One at a time. Rejoicing in His goodness in both the bad days and the good. Until our tomorrow came.

Infertility made me wish for the miracle I thought I wanted but God knew a miracle worth immeasurably more than I even knew to ask for was waiting for me. He drew me close, even knowing the darkest moments of my days, as we waited together. Hayden was coming and he is so worth every mile walked in these shoes. 🌿


#bringinghomebaby

 

Ryan and I are so incredibly grateful for all the sweet friends and family that have shared in our excitement over the little babe joining our family in a few months! It’s been a whirlwind of a month and it doesn’t look to be slowing down but our hearts are so beyond grateful. A few weeks ago we got to hear this precious babe’s heartbeat for the first time and that memory is one that will be forever etched into my heart! A lot of people have asked what is going into this process and what our needs are.

Firstly, the prayers that have been said for this precious baby, the beautiful expectant mama, and for our family have been our biggest blessing. HE knows our needs, our fears, our hearts, and most of all He knows the ending.

The financial part of adoption is overwhelming for any family that steps into this adventure and we’ve been so blessed by so many people asking how they can help. We’ve made some fun shirts (per Ryan there’s even an acceptable man option!) to raise money to help offset some of the costs. You can see the different tees in the “shop” tab in the menu bar at the top of this page.

We’re also making a puzzle! Each puzzle piece is $10 and your name will be written on the back of piece when purchased. We have an adoption account set up on PayPal which is linked to the email address below. The name you add to the notes when sending the donation will go on the back of the piece. When the day comes that we get to come home with Baby we will put the puzzle together and frame it backwards to serve as a constant reminder of people that helped us piece this adventure together.

Donations for the puzzle piece can be sent via PayPal to weadoptlove@gmail.com – thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being our village 💛

 

Don’t we have the cutest friends?!

 

 

Chosen

Chosen. Y’all that word has never sounded so amazing! We have been chosen by the most beautiful girl to love and care for her baby as our own for all of the rest of our days – the importance of that decision and magnitude of this gift is not lost on us. God has been so intentional with every last detail and although He’s shown His love time and time again, I’m still blown away by the way He loves us so well.
Over the past 2 years that we’ve spent in TN we’ve found our people, made our home, and established jobs we love. We’ve been welcomed by a community, gone on new adventures, and made lasting friendships. In all this time our arms haven’t stopped aching to hold the weight of a baby but we’ve been filled with peace to be happy with the day we’re in. Right in the middle of Gods perfect plan a baby has been growing and what an honor that the amazing woman carrying that baby has chosen us to be the parents. She is brave, she is loving, she is selfless, & she is strong.
There a story of broken and a story of healing wrapped around this adoption but for now we’ll just say “Praise the Lord” for His beautiful timing and pray for the heart of the woman letting me be a mama again, forever. 🌿

Telling JoJo Goodbye

A few years have passed since the day they walked out the door and these words have never felt more true. He asked for her back because He was still writing her story but He has given us so much in return. I pray daily for the girl we had the privilege of loving. Praying she’s safe, she’s happy, and she knows how fiercely loved she is.

Jesus replied, “you don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” John 13:7 NLT

I picture myself climbing up into the Father’s lap and Him holding me in His strong arms. He’s whispering that He’s got this and allowing me to grieve the outcome I most hoped for. Allowing me to grieve “my way” all while He’s looking at the bigger picture – you know, the one I can’t yet see. The pain is real and He’s offering me a place to let that pain go.

We had to say goodbye to one of our precious foster babies this last week. As I watched the social worker walk her out our front door I realized that I would probably never see this little girl ever again. I sat on my couch that afternoon and thought about the time she spent as our daughter. We worked through things that I thought would surely break us – or at least it would surely break me. She stretched us and grew us. These huge hurdles bonded us and then, in what seemed like a blink, it was time to say goodbye.

I felt the loss of her deep inside my bones. My bones ached, my heart ached, deep inside my soul ached. I saw her wondering eyes as she was walked out the front door. I wondered if she understood what was happening. I wondered if she was comfortable, or God forbid scared. But then I remembered that she may have had a few sets of parents in her short little life so far, but one thing remains the same and that’s that she has always been HIS. He loves her more than I can fathom. He walked out that door with her that morning and walked in the next door holding her hand. That doesn’t eliminate my feeling because I love her so much, but it gives my heart peace knowing the only one that is truly in control was standing smack dab in the middle of this situation as well.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I hang on to this truth. God holds each of us in his hand, and even when we are walking through a dark period of transition we are His and His plan is never made to harm us. There are days when I literally need to repeat this verse over and over in my head. There are days when this plan seems more painful than my plan, but that’s because I can only live a minute at a time. I can’t see what the Father sees. I don’t know the big picture and there are things I may never truly understand. The more I immerse myself in His grace and the more I seek the character of Christ, the more I’m okay with not always understanding, and the more I am thankful for the way He tenderly yet fiercely loves me.

Moving In

Happy New Year! We were excited to spend the holidays in our new home this year. We finally moved in at the beginning of October and welcomed settling in with open arms. As fun as this last year or so has been, we were more than ready to make this house our home.

We bought our lot in February of 2016 after a long search around Nashville and the surrounding cities. I never wanted to build again but we fell in love with the area we chose and loved the neighborhood so build again we did!

After spending the summer watching the walls of the house we’d soon call home go up, we were so thankful to make it to the end! We closed the second week of October and finally unpacked the boxes that had been stored for the last year! We couldn’t believe a whole year had gone by since we moved from CA to TN.

So here she is. The home we will bring our babies home to, that will see laughter and some tears, that will host holidays and welcome us home after long days at work. We absolutely love our new community and couldn’t be happier that these walls will hold our most precious family moments.

Hope y’all are having a Happy New Year and if you’re anywhere in the Nashville area… keep warm!

 

it’s been awhile

Welp its been awhile! This year has been the craziest, best year yet – full of change and y’all… change can be such a beautiful thing! Last year we packed up our life and drove 1,973 miles from Southern California to make a home in Tennessee. I never could have guessed we’d rent for almost a full year before finally moving in to the house we’re making a home but we couldn’t be happier.

We knew we’d probably never have the opportunity to drive across the country -just Ryan and I again – so we were excited to pack up the car with the three wiens and take our time getting to Tennessee. We were able to stop and see family in Arizona, friends in Texas, visit Magnolia Farms, stop in Monroe, Louisiana and see where Duck Dynasty is at, and see some of the prettiest sights in this country. Mississippi kept a little piece of my heart. The entire drive was spent with one or the other of us saying we’ve never seen such beautiful places.

We finally reached Nashville and after 5 days in the car it was a welcomed sight! We still had a few days before all our stuff arrived but we towed a trailer out with most of our day to day things inside. We spent the first few days checking out all the yummy places right around our house. From the moment we got to Nashville we both knew we were home!

We moved here at the end of October and it was definitely our first experience with a true Fall. I couldn’t believe the colors of the trees. Everywhere we went people would tell us, “oh this is nothing. It was too dry this year.” But for us, it was gorgeous! We may or may not have taken tons of pictures of the trees during those first few weeks.. We went on picnics and visited Cheekwood to get pumpkins. Did I mention that because there is no traffic here we actually got to do things AFTER work?! What is this world??

Ryan ordered his first chicken and waffles after church one Sunday and was hooked after that! We spent the first couples months exploring different places near Nashville. We didn’t know where we wanted to look for our home yet so we took our time checking out the different areas. After a couple months we were fairly sure we had it narrowed down to two areas. Our house in CA finally closed after the 1st of January and we immediately bought a lot of land in a neighborhood we loved and began building… something I never wanted to do again but here we went!

Winter was a new experience for us! We saw our first snowfall together and the wiens were less than excited about our little photoshoot in the snow. Heidi especially decided she’d stay inside for the winter.

So needless to say the first few months in Nashville changed our lives in all the best ways. We missed family and friends but we experienced more life together in those months and I’m so grateful to be on this adventure. Spoiler alert… It’s only gotten better!!

 

A First Post

Okay so this is my first attempt to this blogging thing… Excited to share with our precious family and friends how this crazy amazing newlywed thing is working for us! From a wedding and new home to cooking homemade meals every night (or trying) for this hubby of mine plus a ton more of these adventures… Check back from time to time to see how it’s all going for us!